I want to be loved.
I want to feel it’s passion and embrace.
To feel its warmth and intoxicating
familiarity and newness.
I want to be held. I want to be
cherished.
Treated like a treasure.
Yet also the down home girl that I am.
I want love.
An equal, mutual exchange.
Embraced by its security.
An equal empowerment, respect, desire.
Balanced communication.
I wonder how I can move on when a huge
part of me doesn’t want to let go.
Of my hurt?
Of the man who stole my heart?
Well, it wasn’t his for the taking.
But I offered it on a silver platter,
full of bells and whistles.
He intrigued me, made me feel desired and
desirable.
He made me feel proud to be his partner.
Yet I never really feel validated in that
way.
I backed away, I shied off. I resisted.
I had a façade of the ideal person, the
ideal relationship.
And I desperately didn’t want to break
it.
But I did.
Because I knew it wasn’t right. It needed to start fresh.
I feel badly for the hurt I may have
caused, the blame I placed.
But I feel vindicated in sharing and
standing up for my worth.
It needed to happen. I needed to break
free.
I’m afraid to let go. I still love.
But I need to validate myself,
Stick to things, feel,
And move forward.
I feel anger, shame, guilt, doubt, fear,
loss,
trepidation, sadness, loss, sorrow.
I feel new beginning, a chance to learn
and start anew.
I am who I am and I will be with someone
who
makes me feel more truly myself than ever
before.
I am with someone who allows me to accept
myself through my flaws, vulnerabilities,
and weaknesses.
My love rallies and validates me in my
confidences and success.
My purity and failure.
I am human.
I am emotion. I am power.
I sometimes fear the affect of my harsh
words,
Demanding emotions, and lash tongue.
I fear the places they put me with
others.
But I am pure. And I am learning to
express my emotions and my needs.
I am growing. I am morphing. I am human.
I am transcending.
I really do love you, querido.
But when it comes down to it, I love myself more.
No comments:
Post a Comment